Internal Dialogue

“Do it.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I said DO IT.”

“Don’t wanna,” *sticks lower lip out*

“Like I give a damn.”




“What the hell’s the matter with you? Just freakin’ do it.”


“And that’s your answer?”


“Oh my god; I can’t believe I’m stuck with you!”

“Speak for yourself. Why do you give a damn anyway?”

“Ever hear of the concept of being conscious?”

“Once or twice; yeah.”

“Well, I like that state.”

“Everyone’s different.”

“Yeah, but we shouldn’t be this different.”

“So what?”


“If you say so.”

“Just DO IT!!! Geebles, I feel like your mother or something.”

“Don’t even go there.”

“Well, someone has to. Do you even know what time it is? What day it is? Look at the state of your bedroom!”

“It’s a little after midnight on Christmas Eve’s Eve.”

*smacks forehead*

“Hey, I don’t really think you can talk all that much. In fact, I’d like it a lot better if you’d lay off with the talking.”

“Yes? And why?”

“I’ve got three words for you: Four AM yesterday.”

“AM isn’t exactly a word in that context.”

*smacks own forehead* “Geez, just get over it, okay?”

“So what of it?

“I was AWAKE. I’m not supposed to be awake at 4 in the effing morning.”

“You weren’t going anywhere.”

“Geez.” *rolls eyes*



“I guess we have more in common that I thought.”

“Yeah, neither of us ever gets any sleep.” *rolls eyes*

“At least I had a good reason.”

“And that was?”


“GEEZ! I might as well be talking to my mother.”

“C’mon. Go on. You have to get up sometime tomorrow morning and actually, you know, do stuff.”

“So do you.”


“Geebles; you don’t have to get so touchy.”

“If you’d act your age for once, I wouldn’t have to be like this.”

“My age? Why don’t you act it for me?”

“I AM.”

“I don’t think that AM qualifies as a word.”


“I don’t wanna.”

“It’s fair to say that we’ve covered this ground before.” *spoken very calmly*

“What can I say? I’m a bit forgetful.” *smiles*

*smacks forehead again*

“Was it something I said?”

“Do you want me to call in reinforcements?”

“No.”  *said grumpily*

“Then just close the laptop and take a nap!  How hard is that really?”

“Not hard at all.”

“Then why put it off?”



“I don’t know.  I guess it’s because I can.”

“What kind of answer is that?”


“It’s certainly not mine.”

“I know.  You’ve got to have specifics and logic.  I can’t believe I know you.”

“There certainly are times that I catch myself wondering as well.”

“You’re not going to leave me, are you?”  *suddenly timid*

“Where would I go?”

*waves arm towards oblivion*  “Elsewhere.  Like in The Giver.”

“I have a theory about that, but I’ll hang onto it.  No, if anyone’s going Elsewhere, it’s going to be all of us.”

“That’s good.  Sometimes that worries me; the idea of being separate.”

“It’s a liberating thought sometimes, but for the most part, I don’t want it either.”


“Okay what?”

“I’ll do it.  I’ll go to bed.”

“About time.”

“So it’s 2 in the morning.  So what?”

“I thought you said it was a little after 12!”

“And you believed me!  Whoo ha!  You should know better.”

“I’m sorry.  I thought we had grown up.”

“We grew up together, but you’re the only grownup.”

“This I know.”

“I’m glad of it too.”


“Can you imagine how dull our conversations would get if we were both boring?”


~ by lastcrazyhorn on December 23, 2007.

5 Responses to “Internal Dialogue”

  1. Mifflesquibble made me grin one of those grins where I realize that there are other people who say a thing to themselves that I thought only I said to myself. It is a little like feeling connected to humanity except it is such a trivial thing that I just laughed instead. Anyway, thanks for the amusement.

  2. So, you’re like me with the taking 2 hours either to go to bed from when i’ve decided to go to bed, or to get out of bed when i’ve woken up, then… i’m absolutely sure that this is an autistic thing…

    This post also really reminded me of the fictional universe in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy – it could easily be a conversation between Lyra and her daemon…

  3. Usually I can get out of bed okay, but getting to bed is a completely separate thing . . . especially some nights. *rolls eyes*

  4. Great; now I’m sure “mifflesquibble” just involuntarily became part of my Inner Dialogue Vocabulary.

  5. You mean it wasn’t already???

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