Lines in the Sand

I make it a point not to post twice in one day.

Like ever.

That’s why I created another blog that I didn’t tell anyone about, other than linking to it in my blogroll anonymously, just to write in when I felt like saying two things in one day.

Anyways.

I’m watching House right now. I really really like House.

I’m really screwy right now.

I really feel like going into the hallway and screaming at the person who’s beating on someone’s door down the way.

“Lines in the Sand” is the episode with the severely autistic boy. I haven’t seen the entire thing yet. I can’t tell you how it turns out. I almost didn’t watch it, because I was afraid.

I was afraid that I’d watch it and see the same old crap that I have to read about online by parents and the public who just don’t give a damn about . . .

God I hate being diplomatic.

I could continue that sentence with “the truth.” But that’s not the issue. Those parents see the truth, but they don’t, but that’s a stereotype and

THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING PROBLEM.

And I just figured out that the sound of the beating down the hall was actually the girl in the room beside me. I don’t know what she was doing. I don’t give a damn.

I’m not the confrontational type.

I don’t confront. I ignore. I hide. I put earplugs in. Occasionally I shower. Or I take a walk. I drink on occasion. Mostly, I go to sleep. I don’t tell people when they’re pissing me off.

I just went down the hall, knocked on a door (big), talked to a girl I didn’t know (bigger) and told her that I didn’t care what the hell she was doing to make the sound she was making (even bigger). I told her that I didn’t care if she did that any other time of the day, like oh 3 am when no one gives a damn or 7 am when everyone is out (like unconscious) (even bigger than that), as long as she didn’t do it right then at this moment in time, because I’m in a freaky place right now . . .

AND I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT RIGHT NOW.

Do you understand me?

She nodded.

I turned and went back to my room.

(BIGGEST)

“Lines in the Sand”

Cameron: Is it so wrong for them to want to have a normal child? It’s normal to want to be normal.

House: Spoken like a true circle queen. See, skinny socially privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle, and everyone inside the circle is normal, anyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken and reset so they can be brought into the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized or worse, pitied.

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~ by lastcrazyhorn on June 27, 2008.

21 Responses to “Lines in the Sand”

  1. Hmm, you remind me of me. My one night in jail, back in 19-seventy-something, was a result of my trying to do the right thing, and ask the neighbors to quit with the godawful noise, before calling the cops. I didn’t have a phone, the nearest payphone was a quarter of a mile away, and I was still limping from my bike’s having kicked me in the ankle with its starter lever.
    Once admitted to the place, a person there pushed exactly the wrong button on my already frayed nerves, so I just went for him. It got worse from that point.

    I later found out that those neighbors thought it was amusing and sporting to get on my nerves, and that they were also injecting drugs at that time. I was the one who got arrested, though, for trying to get them to be quiet so I could sleep and go to work the next morning

  2. I love House! I love the way he makes you think outside the circle.

  3. Many points for standing up for yourself.

    Diplomacy? Wellll….

    😉

    Proud of you, kid.
    Zen

  4. PS: Why do you never post more than once? Sounds like an interesting rule.

  5. Justthisguy – Shock. Anger. Sadness. That’s the order of the emotions I felt reading your post. A similar thing happened to my brother actually, but his case was a bit worse.

    Casdock – I really like House. I mean, I don’t necessarily want to be just like him, but I definitely see traits of myself in him.

    Bill – *grins*

    As for the posting thing . . . Mostly I hate the way it looks. Seeing two of one day makes me feel like there was a hiccup in the system.

    *Oh no! Another black cat!

    10 points to whoever gets that reference first.

  6. It is really hard to break out of the learned helplessness and/or passive aggressiveness we get taught as children, and if you have spent years of your life being bullied, it is even more difficult. Congratulations! And look, nothing bad happened. You even made a difference. Self advocacy is important.

    As ordinary telly shows about autistic kids go, it was pretty good. I have quibbles, to be sure. But that was a great set of writers for that season of House, and there are a LOT of great lines in that show. House gets to make some good points, and not just be snarky.

    andrea

  7. first of all, after reading that quote, i’m like holy crap why haven’t i been watching House?! there is someone on mainstream television saying that??

    you talking to your neighbor is so HUGE. i don’t know if this is appropriate to say but i’m so proud of you. putting yourself out there and taking risks you aren’t comfortable with is…wow. !!!

    my passiveness i think comes from a different place, mostly internalized shame and this huge fear of confrontation. i’ve been really trying to work on this too and once i get past the “OMG OMG OMG am i really doing this” stage, i’m finding that a lot of times it has amazing results for me.

    anyways. xoxo. proud of you, lch.

  8. I just like House. Tell me he doesn’t have Aspie tendencies. I think he resonated with that child for obvious reasons.

    But I’m like you in that raised voices just freeze me up and I will often back down rather than confront IN MY PERSONAL LIFE (because hell, as a lawyer that wouldn’t be very useful now would it?). I don’t know why I can do it one place and not the other.

    But good onya mate for taking care of yourself! It is a big step. I’m proud of you.

  9. Andrea – House has now been relegated to my group of top favorite characters/people. Once there were 3, now there are 4. The list:

    1. Batman
    2. Hawkeye
    3. Mike Rowe
    4. Gregory House

    Cripchick – omg omg omg – you have got to start watching!!! Like now! When I went home for a couple of weeks about a month ago, I discovered that my mom was hooked on them. An episode later and I was too.

    awalkabout – Yeah, I can be loud on the horn, but rarely in real life.

  10. I was pleasantly surprised by that episode of House. I had been purposely avoiding it. My favorite line?? “That was a 10.”

  11. Congratulations! You broke with the passive without swinging the pendulum completely oppositely into aggression. You are entitled to a screwy day, and you are entitled to a quiet environment at that point to help you deal with it.

    As for Mike Rowe — it’s kind of a good thing I didn’t know we were in two different cities at precisely the same time, or else he might’ve discovered what it’s like to be attacked by a chick in a 300 pound power wheelchair. OK, so I’m far too shy to actually attack him, but I would’ve drooled heavily in his direction. There’s something about a man quoting poetry while up to his neck in muck that’s a total intellectual turn-on.

  12. Okay. I got an idea.

    I’ll distract him, you rush him, and then I’ll take pictures and we’ll share. 🙂

    In the past, if and when I ever managed to stop being passive, I always went from annoyed to insane with rage. I don’t remember what happened during those moments, but I can piece them together based on the aftermath.

  13. I’ve never watched House since we don’t get Fox (yes, we live in the boonies.) I’ll have to rent the DVDs.

    As for Mike Rowe- HE’S MINE!!! ROFL

  14. Since I’m in school right now, I have access to cable for the first time in my life. So I’ve been watching House reruns this summer on USA.

    No no, Rowe is most definitely mine. You know he has a blog, yes? I’ve linked to it in my blogroll. *double checks* Yup, it’s there. 😀

  15. I love House! And congratulations on standing up for yourself. I’m a total passive aggressive head case when noise is on my nerves– I skulk around my house grumbling and griping to myself, rather than being brave enough to tell the noisy person to knock it the heck off. It’s awful! I feel silly later, but when I get to the point that every little sound just irritates me (usually late at night when I can hear my roomie or neighbor playing video games loudly), I am not thinking rationally.

    Oh, and on House again– the Dr. House (Glen, to be precise) I work for isn’t nearly as snarky, but he’s pretty awesome anyway. Although, I did hear an anecdote about him yelling at a panhandler for pulling his cup away when House rolled by– as if being in a wheelchair (despite the suit and tie) automatically meant he was so much worse off than the panhandler that it wasn’t worth even begging from him.

  16. Can we share? 😉 LOL

    I’ll have to check his blog out. I adore the guy.

  17. Well, it could be worse. Please see http://usswestvirginia.org/stories/story.php?id=23

    Those guys were trapped in a compartment in USS West Virginia until December 23, 1941.

    Actually, they were still there, though dead, when the ship was salvaged in the Spring of 1942.

    They made marks on a calendar until December 23, 1941.

  18. If you don’t like having two posts on your blog with the same date, you could just save your “excess” posts for days when you otherwise wouldn’t post anything. You don’t have to post up everything you write on the same day that you write it…

    Having said that, i’ve just decided to start using my Livejournal account to post things that i consider to be “too trivial” or “not finished enough” to post on my proper blog (i’m not linking to it from my main blog, although i am linking to my main blog from my Livejournal) – but that’s actually in an attempt to blog *more*, not less…

  19. Those are usually the things I post on the other side. Like I take a random test and I want to display the results, but I don’t want to here necessarily. Or I have a thought that doesn’t connect with the emotional content or level and I don’t want people to get confused or forget the main impact of the point.

    But when I have really good stuff 2 times in one day, then I usually just save it as a draft and come back the next day. In fact, I’m probably going to do that today . . .

  20. Ohhhh, House. My old roommate got me hooked. I’ve seen it all except for most of the last season…I don’t get any TV channels anymore, making it hard to watch. I wonder if FOX has episodes onlines…hmmm…

  21. Funny how roommates do that . . . I got my previous roommate hooked on M*A*S*H (the tv series). 🙂

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