Anything and Everything is bound to find its way here. I apologize in advance. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into with this page.
For more Batman fun, you can continue on from here to my Batman pics page–which I’m just going to add onto slowly as I find cool stuff. 🙂
We’ll start with my most favorite Batman quote. If you’re not familiar with Batman Returns, chances of understanding the quote are close to nil.
Spoken by Batman in the movie, “Batman Returns,” in the scene where he’s hurtling along in his sabotaged vehicle, with the police in close pursuit, towards an alleyway–a very narrow alleyway:
“Okay. Now I’m a little worried.”
Okay, so maybe I like Batman when he’s in trouble a little too much.
There’s something to be said for movie novelizations after all; especially ones done by Craig Shaw Gardner. I’ve got two quotes for you; one mildly amusing (well, really hysterical for me), and one revealing in regards to Batman’s physical state at cathedral scene at the end of Batman. BTW, the link here is to a goofs page about the movie. All I gotta say is that these folks are really bad obsessed. And I’m saying that.
He waited a moment for the debris to settle, then drove the Batmobile out of the rubble and back to the gate.
He walked out of the darkness and patted the Batmobile on the fender. There were a couple of nicks on the windshield. Besides that, he couldn’t see a scratch. He put the remote control into its compartment on his utility belt. The Batmobile purred beside him.
There was more wrong with him than a few broken ribs. As the adrenaline drained from his body, he could feel where he had wrenched his right knee. He had to be careful to stand on it just the right way or his leg would give out on him. He must have torn something in his left hand as well. When he tried to straighten the last two fingers, he wanted to scream.
Yeah, so I’m starting out this quotes page with early Batman movies. You think that’s bad, wait till I go back to ’66.
- From the Batman movie:
- The Joker: Joker here. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true, under that fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He’s dead now, and he’s left me in charge.
- Batman: You weighed a little more than a hundred and eight.
Vicki Vale: Oh really!
Batman: Let’s go.
- Batman: Let me tell you about this guy I know. Jack. Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.
The Joker: I like him already.
- Bruce Wayne: It’s Japanese.
Knox: How do you know that?
Bruce Wayne: Because I bought it in Japan.
I forgive myself for these next quotes. It’s late. I’m weird anyway. These quotes are hitting me just in the right way.
- From the 1966 Batman movie starring Adam West and Burt Ward (too bad there wasn’t a third character with the name of “Carl Wuqe” or something similar – you don’t have to tell me, I know I’m odd):
- Commissioner Gordon: It could be any one of them… But which one? Which ones?
Batman: Pretty *fishy* what happened to me on that ladder…
Commissioner Gordon: You mean where there’s a fish there could be a penguin?
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea… Sea. C for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet, an exploding shark *was* pulling my leg…
Commissioner Gordon: The Joker!
Chief O’Hara: All adds up to a sinister riddle… Riddle-R. Riddler!
Commissioner Gordon: A thought strikes me… So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance…
Batman: The four of them… Their forces combined…
Robin: Holy nightmare!
- Penguin: Ahoy there! Could you chaps direct me to a policeman? Commodore Schmidlapp’s the name. Big Ben Distilleries, you know.
[Batman and Robin look at each other]
Robin: Holy costumed party! That’s the Penguin!
- (Would you believe it if I told you I owned this movie?)
- Batman: Some days, you just can’t git rid of a bomb.
- Robin: When you think, Batman, with those 4 supercrooks hangin’ around, it’s amazing somebody hasn’t already reported this place to the police!
Batman: It’s a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They’re used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.
Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn’t it? I’d rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!
- Robin: Wow! Let’s commandeer a taxi!
Batman: No, Robin. Not at this time of day. Luckily, we’re in tip-top condition. It’ll be faster if we run. Let’s go!
- If you really need a laugh, check out this Batman page.
Okay; what you’ve all been waiting for. Comic book quotes.
- From The Last Arkham (Part 2 of 4):
He has a nightmare sometimes. He dreams that the surface layers of his life are stripped away, peeled back like an onion skin. No more Bruce Wayne. No more secret identity to hide behind. No more games. There is only the flame that burns at his center–the flame that has driven him for so long–the flame that makes him what he is. Sometimes he dreams that it flares up to engulf him, filling his entire being, consuming him, driving out all other thought, all other feeling.
Other times–worse times–he dreams it has faded and died.
- Another one; same section.
Her father beat her. She beat the dolls, repeated the words she’s no doubt heard a hundred times.
There was a dark bilious ball of fury in his gut.
People . . .
Sometimes he hates them!
- From Part 1 of The Last Arkham:
Cornelius Stirk (Murder, multiple): Sir–I must protest! I don’t like the light, sir! I prefer darkness . . .
Arkham: It may surprise you to learn, Mr. Stirk, that you are not here to have your wishes pandered to. You are here to be cured. To this end, I propose a course of tranquilizers, coupled with–
Stirk: Enough! I say NO to drugs sir! They are unnatural and an abomination!
Arkham: Mr. Stirk–killing people and eating their hearts is unnatural! Society will not condone it. It is my task to cure you, that you might one day rejoin your fellow man–without killing him!
To that end, you must take your medication. Gentlemen– (he says, referring to the two giant, muscular orderlies beside him)
Stirk: I warn you–I’m not a violent man, but–
Arkham: On the contrary–you are a very, very violent man!
But we’re going to change that, Mr. Stirk.
(He says while one of the orderlies hits Stirk in the stomach with a large club)
(One guard hold him down and keeps his mouth open, while the other guard directs a pill into his mouth)
Arkham: We going to turn you into a normal, functional human being–
Isn’t that something to look forward to . . . ?
(The last scene is of Stirk, drool sliding down his chin, his face ringed with sweat, his eyes filled with tears, and visibly shaking; while an orderly holds his jaw and head closed with two monstrous hands)
- From the end of Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker:
Older Bruce Wayne to Terry McGinnis: It’s not Batman that makes you worthwhile, it’s the other way around. Never tell yourself anything different.