The Dark Knight, Dinosaurs and Aliens, Oh My!

To me, entertainment is being able to come away from something, wishing that it were real. As opposed to coming away from it thanking god that it’s not.

As in, I wish I could meet that person. Or I wish I could go there. Or I wish I could do that. Or I wish that I could do that for a living. I wish that was possible. I could go on and on, but I’d have to get into more specifics than I prefer at the moment.

Something along those lines.

Yet another reason why we shouldn’t always get what we want. I mean, can you imagine???

I like the concept of Jurassic Park. And I liked the characters, especially Dr. Alan Grant. I mean, how much more groovy can you be? He was cool before he even stepped onto the island of Jurassic Park. And how awesome would it be to see real, live dinosaurs. Holy giant piles of dino crap!

Then again, half of the characters in that movie end up dead, maimed or fried . . . How do you know that you wouldn’t be part of the dead ones???

Speaking of Sam Neill, I also liked Event Horizon. As one reviewer [correctly (in my opinion)] put it:

Event Horizon is one of those films that should be ranked among the classics of it’s genre yet has somehow fallen by the wayside to be revered by movie geeks and horror aficionados but ultimately ignored by the mainstream.”

However, I like it for completely different reasons. I don’t particularly like Dr. Weir (Sam Neill’s character) either. He kind of bugs the hell out of me, for the most part. He’s out, but he’s in, you dig? I doubt it; let me explain. I guess if I were ever to be part of a military group, I’d feel the same way about civilians. Maybe it’s because so many marching bands are set up in a militaristic fashion that I feel the way that I do.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, yet I remember that Dr. Weir(d) is the one that the ship wants, because he’s the ship’s creator?? That’s the part I’m a bit fuzzy on now. But why else would the ship want him? Oh, did I mention that the ship is evil? And it picked up that evilness from going beyond the dimensions of our world and into someplace else. Okay, so even if I had to be the original crew of that ship and end up dying a horrible death (another unpleasantness of realness), I’d still have a chance to go beyond the edges of the universe or the edges of our plane of existence, and see what’s beyond that. And then get slaughtered in a horrible fashion for that knowledge. But hey, you can’t make an omelet without . . . yeah. But wouldn’t it still be cool to see beyond our dimension??? Even just for a moment?

Or be Dr. Weir and get to talk to the creature/consciousness that now inhabits the ship? Sure, ’cause you sure as hell wouldn’t want to be those other guys. The ones who also die horrible deaths? Oh, but they get to be tortured by images of their loved ones first.

Okay, let’s see me do some proportional statistics. Hell, I’m taking Stats 2 for the fun of it. Well, that and as a student assistant, I’d lose my job otherwise. But it is voluntary in the sense that it’s not required for my degree. However, it is potentially an extremely useful class to have under my belt, in terms of my degree, so I think I can forgo the fear of wasting money (and time).

Proportions are exceedingly easy. At least at first. And that’s the part I’m referring to, so hey whatever. Okay, so on the Event Horizon page that I referred to above (on IMDB), there are 14 cast members. However, of them, only 12 or so really existed. With proportions, all you do is divide your number of whatever by the total number of whatever.


1 Dr. Weir
12 (all told) = .083 (the 3’s go to ∞ (infinity) btw, so for sanity’s sake, we just round to decimal points . . . usually) or .08

Now here’s something I never learned in all my years of wonderful schooling. *she sarcastically says* I never figured out how to do percentages. It took me until the summer after my first year of graduate school to learn how to do them. But no fear; I got ’em now. 🙂

All you do is move the decimal point 2 numerals to the right, making .08 into 08.

And 08. is simply 8% in the world of percentages. So you know what that means, friends and neighbors?

If I’m remembering correctly that everyone dies in that movie (btw, side note, why is it on a TV show, but in a movie???), then only 8% of them survives. What are your chances that you’ll end up in the 8% percent??? Oh but I hear you now. You’re saying to yourself that, how do I know it’s only 8%? What if that one dude, what’s his face, actually survived???

*cracks knuckles* Glad you asked.
1 Dr. Weir, p = 1/12 = .083, about 8%;
q (everything else)= 1 – p, thus 1 – .083 = .917
p ± 1.96√pq
n (total number)

The 1.96 has to do with something that it would take a really long time for me to explain, but I could if I really had to do it. For now, just trust me that it’s legit. It’s what allows me to say that I can be 95% confident that the numbers I’m about to create are in fact legit.

.083 ± 1.96√(.083)(.917)/12

.083 * .917 = .076111

√.076111 = .275882 (etc.)

1.96 * .275882 = .54072872

.54072872 = .045 (etc.)

.083 + .045 = .128 or .13
.083 – .045 = .038 or .04

So I am 95% certain that your chances of dying in Event Horizon would be between 4% and 13%. Or as I said before, 8%, but now I say with 95% confidence that you have an 8% chance of dying as character in Event Horizon, give or take 4.5%.


And might I remind you, friends and neighbors, every math teacher that I ever got between 7th and 12th grade thought that I was number illiterate? Not to mention a waste of their time. Well, I say every one of them, but there was an exception. 11th grade. But that’s another story.

Like the before mentioned movies, Batman: The Dark Knight hits me just right. Not only does the concept of Batman hit me just right, but so does the genius of the Joker and his insane, talented genius. Unfortunately, insane and talented geniuses do live here in the real world, but only technically. They are certainly not in the real world inside their own minds . . . BTW, you really gotta check out that site. I like it so much, I even donated money to it. And I just don’t do that!

I saw the movie this past Friday (and yes, it took me until two days later to write about it). I wanted to wait until I totally had it in my head like I wanted before I opened myself up to new opinions. You probably don’t understand the extent to which I’m taking this. I haven’t even read a single review of it yet, and I’ve already seen it! The only thing I know is that people seem to like it.

And I know why.

This may be one of the best movies . . . I’ve ever seen. Top 5 easy. Of course, if you look at the previous two I’ve mentioned, it may be possible that my standards aren’t that high when it comes to movies. Then again, as I also said above, what I’m looking for is pure entertainment. I want to see a world that would be amazing to exist in, for the events and people and potential it has for making things happen. But ultimately, I know it’s not real.

That’s the point. It’s not real. I can say to myself that even though the Joker just did ____verb____ to ____pronoun____, it didn’t actually hurt them, because it didn’t actually happen. More than that, I can remember that fact and I can believe it. Now, true, there are times that I find myself sucked in, and find that it’s harder to separate what’s happening from true existence. However, in those times I still know that it’s just a story. A really FRICKIN’ awesome story, but yes, it is just a story.

Heath Ledger did an amazing job. Christian Bale rocked as usual (anyone ever see Reign of Fire? Nifty idea – kinda thin on the acting – or rather the script – but nifty idea). Jonathan and Christopher Nolan did an even more amazing job though, putting it all together. See, they know what makes these guys tick. They understand the psychology of Batman and the Joker and _____villainous pronoun_____.

And what I said before about being sucked in? Don’t let me mislead you about the potential to be sucked in. You will be sucked in from the very beginning. There are just deeper levels to the – ah – suckage. *laughs* Or rather, the depths to which the movie pulls you into. If Batman Begins buried you, then Batman: The Dark Knight will push you out to China . . . *whistles innocently*

I know my friends probably get sick of hearing about Batman. Apparently I talk about him more than I realize, since people have now started to give me random Batman memorabilia that they just happened to see while out shopping. *scratches head* It’s cool. 🙂

However, I have now redeemed myself. I dragged two of my friends with me to this movie and we all walked away from it amazed and in awe. Actually, I limped away from it, because apparently I was tensed up with adrenaline/fear/awe for like 2 and a half hours without realizing it; because when I tried to bend my knees afterwards, um, they wouldn’t. In fact, even though it was 2 and a half hours long, it didn’t feel like it. It felt like only half an hour had passed, even though it was the most jam packed half an hour I’ve ever had in my life.

I would see it again in a heartbeat and I’ve already signed up to be notified when it is released on DVD. I wish it was already available though, or that we could pre-order for it; since I probably won’t have any cash to my name when that time comes around. *growls*

I think that part of it that allowed me to separate myself from getting too freaked out by it was the utter lack of blood. You never see the bloody bit happen. You know that they do, but either it happens off-screen, or it happens and the shot changes from the front to the back. It doesn’t make it any less realistic, but it allows me to enjoy it more completely and not actually gag/cringe/close my eyes/shriek girlishly/grab the person sitting next to me/wet myself/wet the person sitting next to me . . . etc.

This is what makes Batman Batman. It’s intelligent. It’s thought provoking (seriously, I’m still thinking about some of the concepts it brought up). It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s thrilling. Dark. Mysterious. Breathtaking. Humorous. Bone chilling. Intriguing. Exhilarating. Surprising.

In a word: Amazing.

Speaking of blood, there’s more blood in the 1989 version of Batman than there is in this movie. I mean, we’re talking nada.

Batman isn’t just some guy who kicks the butts of those who do evil. He’s much more. He’s skilled. He’s smart. He thinks a lot. He’s fairly obsessed. More than that though, he has a conscience. He’s very aware of the seriousness of death. His emotions are real, if not his existence. If Batman ran for president? Wow. Not these clowns. We’ve got nothing compared to him. We have nothing that compares to his treatment of humanity.

If I could write (and get an answer) the presidential candidates, my first question would be: “What’s your opinion of how a president should treat humanity?” Not how they should treat US citizens, or the rich/poor etc.; but I want to know what they think of how one should treat humanity?

I mean, No Child Left Behind has been a great success. *rolls eyes and holds nose* I think what we need now is a president that will guarantee the safety of all of the children in the schools of the US. So what if test scores drop? I wouldn’t give a damn about scores if I knew that the kids graduating from today’s schools were doing it with a better understanding of how to treat each other with respect and acceptance.

How’s that for a platform??? What good are scores when the rates of death and violence continue to rise in the under 18 category of school age victims? Sure they’re just kids now, but mean kids grow up into, yup, mean adults. I know some of them.

Some of them turned into math teachers.


~ by lastcrazyhorn on July 27, 2008.

10 Responses to “The Dark Knight, Dinosaurs and Aliens, Oh My!”

  1. Wow! Everyone else on the net whose opinion I respect also heartily approves of this movie, just not so enthusiastically. I reckon I should go see it.

    One small quibble; when you write “number illiterate”, I think you mean “innumerate”, which you obviously are not. Sorry to get all pedantic on you.

  2. um your intrest and insigt into The Dark Knight is compelling me to go see it. I am not a big fan of Batman but I do appreciate entertainment that makes me wish it was real. I loved Jurrasic Park and I am not sure if I have seen Event Horizen but your writing critique has certainly sparked me enough to go see The Dark Knight. 🙂

    I love reading what you write. I feel like you are communicating what I wish I could share with the world. You express your thoughts and feelings and I feel like when you write about a topic, I wouldn’t want to add more because you have said what I feel inside but don’t yet know how to communicate it.


  3. Woot Chey-sis! You leave the bestest of comments. 🙂

    Justthisguy – I wasn’t actually aware of that word, but I just went and looked it up, and I’m wont to agree with you. 🙂 Actually, it’s likely that I have an undxed learning disability in math that can only be gotten around by teachers who are willing to wait on my brain to make sense of it all.

  4. What a great review! I love your passion for this.

    I saw the film on Friday night and loved it. I was much louder than I usually am while watching films, I couldn’t help giving little yelps of surprise and fear, and I jumped and had to cover my eyes a few times. Thankfully the hyped up Friday audience didn’t seem to mind.

    I thought Garry Oldman was fantastic too, and loved the set up of the honest cop coupled with the other things going on in his office. I’m not sure I believed the ship scene but the hospital bit blew my mind. And I definitely shrieked at how the lorry/ bat-bike sequence ended; just wow!

    Batman is a great character. How interesting to see a hero who thinks and cares, but still was drawn into torturing someone. The Joker is terrifying, menacing, and makes me hope that such creatures exist only in fiction.

  5. That wasn’t Batman torturing someone (well it was technically, but hear me out), it was Batman striking out against his frustrations. It’s like he’s realizing that for all his strength, and intelligence, there’s nothing he can do against this fiend sitting before him. So he strikes out, because there’s nothing left for him to do. He’s out of options. He’s helpless. And remember, standing by helpless while loved ones died is what he’s fighting against. It’s the same old battle that he’s been fighting since he was 9 or 11 or whatever.

    And the Joker’s just . . . taking it. Showing him that no matter how much he fights against the thing that he hates the most, there’s nothing he can ultimately do to control the world that he lives in.

  6. Oh, wow. I have to say that the boat scene was my favorite, actually. It showed that we are all individuals forced to live with one another, and live with ourselves. The prisoner had seen enough hate and violence in his life, and the man on the civilian boat… realized what he would be if he pushed that button.

    Two different reasons for taking control of one’s morality, if not one’s destiny.

  7. On the math thing: I had a physics prof who, when I complained about not understanding some of the deep arguments in my math classes, said something like, “Kid, you need to learn yer math from physicists. It’s just a tool for us, so we don’t worry about explaining all of the eye-glazing rigorous details to the undergrads.”

    I wish I’d met that guy sooner. Hell, I wish somebody had told me when I was a kid that the best way to learn math is to work every problem and every exercise in the book. Unless one wants to be a mathematician, of course. My eyes tend to skip over numerical characters, but words seem to flow right into my brain.

    My eyes also tend to skip over musical notation, but that’s self-punishing, in that you can’t play it if your mind doesn’t notice the notes. Hmm, maybe should pick up the soprano recorder, it’s lying five feet away…

  8. And the ironic thing here of course is that the word problems used to be the hardest ones for me. Then again, I didn’t have a real good understanding of how my brain worked at that point, so that probably had an impact. Man, maybe I’ll just skip writing a book about Asperger’s per se, but instead write a handbook for my life.

  9. Okay, that’s funny because I just finished a post (and immediately came over to check on you since I’ve been out of town and offline) that talked a bit about Jurassic Park. Not the same context as your post, but funny to me that we both mentioned it. I LOVED that movie. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it. I so loved dinosaurs when I was little – still do. The books/movies absolutely fascinated me.

    Haven’t seen the other two. Glad you enjoyed Batman, though!


  10. I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

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